Superhero Hotties!! Some of the Hottest Superhero Girl Friends
It seems to be a forgone conclussion that if you're female and a superhero, you're hot! The odds are just as likely that the girlfriends of superheros are equally hot. Read on!!
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With the approach of summer comes the ambush of superhero movies like "Iron Man 2," and with superhero movies comes a rush of testosterone delivered by the (mostly male) heroes and villains. However, every yin needs a yang, and so to balance out the mano a mano, these movies usually have a mano a womano going on as well. To balance out our coverage of "Iron Man 2," we're celebrating the women our favourite movie superheroes love, and deciding on the hottest, smartest, sluttiest or who-knows-whattiest. Click on the first thumbnail below to get started.
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Virginia "Pepper" Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) was introduced in "Iron Man" as Tony Stark's (Robert Downey, Jr.) assistant, but as soon as she "took out the trash" - her code for showing Stark's one-night stand the door - we knew she was destined to get closer to her boss. We didn't know she'd get close to being HIS boss in "Iron Man 2." Pepper taking over as CEO of Stark's company makes lovely feminist sense, but all that work talk kind of kills the chemistry between them. Then again, it's not like Paltrow and Downey had anything more than friend chemistry to begin with.
RATING: Iciest. Paltrow's fit bod may look good in those knit dresses and sky high heels, but her frumpy red wig and lisp make her seem more substitute teacher than superhero hottie.
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The girl that Dave Lizewski (a.k.a. high school superhero Kick-Ass) crushes on is willowy, wide-eyed Katie Deauxma (Lyndsy Fonseca). They make eyes at each other across their lockers. She makes him her gay best friend by mistake, which leads to slumber parties and soulful confessions. So far, so teenagerishly tame. But as the film gets progressively more violent, Katie starts to seem really weird for having an older drug dealer as a former boyfriend. We could understand her trying to help this guy through her charity work, but dating him? Ick.
RATING: Sluttiest. Once Katie and Dave do it standing up in an alley, her wide-eyed teenager schtick up and dies.
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Laurie Jupiter (Malin Ackerman) has the most adult burdens of any superhero hottie. Not only is she the child of rape, she's stuck with a hand-me-down moniker from her mom, the first Silk Spectre (Carla Gugino). And she gets the shaft from her superhero boyfriend, Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), who's so remote he replicates himself during sex so he can keep working on something in the lab. Laurie gets hers back during a steamy interlude with nice guy superhero Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson). She also gets to help save much of the world from nuclear disaster by putting her superhero duties ahead of her personal drama.
RATING: Smartest. Ackerman may not ooze intelligence, but we like that her character is written with a clear mind of her own, capable of discussing problems with the men in her life without throwing judgmental snit fits.
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Speaking of judgmental snits, who is Rachel Dawes and why does she vex us so? In "Batman Begins," she's Bruce Wayne's (Christian Bale) childhood crush and grows up to be an Assistant D.A., played incongruously by Katie "Good Luck Even Getting into Law School" Holmes. Rachel apparently loves Bruce back, even though she doesn't seem to like him very much and doesn't want to be with him once she finds out he's Batman. In "The Dark Knight," Rachel is the apex of a sordid love triangle, pledging to marry Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) despite reassuring Bruce at one point that she'd wait for him. Oh, and she's now played by Maggie Gyllenhaal, who can pull off the whole lawyer thing but doesn't exactly have the face of a woman men fight over. Rachel is also a stereotypical damsel in distress. She's drugged and attacked in the first film and thrown out a window and (spoiler alert) blown to smithereens in the second.
RATING: Ditziest. The girl can't make up her mind, so it's fine with us that The Joker makes her mind blow up.
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Liz Sherman (Selma Blair) and Hellboy (Ron Perlman) are friends before they become lovers, and then, quite adorably, parents. In the first "Hellboy" film, Liz is a bit of a wuss. She's so scared of her pyrokinetic abilities that she quits the secret crimefighting team B.P.R.D. and commits herself to a mental institution rather than risk her firestarting powers running amok again. She also almost dies and Hellboy has to save her. But by "Hellboy II," Liz has turned into a short-haired sasspot. She puts Hellboy in his place and saves his life - and the world when she destroys that evil crown. The transformation is abrupt, but heck, we'll take it. Especially since Liz gets to be a superhero, a badass babe in black leather and a babymaker all at once.
RATING: Sassiest. But don't call her "babe."
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When Edward Norton swapped in for Eric Bana in the "Hulk" reboot, the green guy got a lot edgier. But when Liv Tyler swapped in for Jennifer Connelly, the previously sinewy Betty Ross turned into a pile of mush. She sobbed so often that she made Banner cry, too. And Hulk should never cry. Hulk smash things, Hulk no crybaby. Bad Betty Ross. Bad.
RATING: Sappiest. In the comics, after Betty marries Bruce she turns into a harpy who suffers multiple miscarriages and then gets killed. Sounds like the comic book writers didn't like Betty much either.
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Our least favourite superhero hottie has to be Mary Jane Watson. As played by the half-awake Kirsten Dunst, MJ is a fickle pickle who pouts when Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) misses the start of her Broadway play - even though she's engaged to someone else at the time. Passive aggressive much? To add injury to insult, she doesn't make a big play for Peter until it's her wedding day and she's dressed up in her gown, which is at least a fortnight too late by Emily Post's standards. Her allegedly romantic dash to Peter means her poor fiancé is left standing at the altar with nary a blow-off text message.
RATING: Nottest. Loving MJ turned Parker into an emo jerk. They sorta deserve each other.
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Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) is Scott Summers' (a.k.a. Cyclops) (James Marsden) girlfriend and Wolverine's (Hugh Jackman) flirty temptation. She's also a superhero herself. Grey's mutant powers include telekinesis and telepathy, though Janssen's gorgeously worried looks tend to make her seem like she's burdened with too much empathy as well. On top of all this superhero/hottie goodness, when Grey is taken over by the fiery, red-eyed Phoenix, she becomes a tortured supervillain for the ages. Phoenix is the driving force behind the third "X-Men" movie and a source of angst for three men - Cyclops, whom she kills; Wolverine, who stands by her; and Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart), who's protected her since childhood but dies because of her, too. Now THAT's grrrl power.
RATING: Hottest. Physically and literally
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DCF
6/12/2010